Unless the LORD Builds the House
The reminder the Lord has been whispering to me over and over during this season: “Unless the LORD builds the house ….”
1 Unless the LORD builds the house, they labor in vain who build it.
Unless the LORD guards the city, the watchman keeps awake in vain.
2 It is vain for you to rise up early, to retire late, to eat the bread of painful labors, for He gives to His beloved even in his sleep.
3 Behold, children are a gift of the LORD.
The fruit of the womb is a reward.
4 Like arrows in the hands of a warrior, so are the children of one’s youth.
How blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them;
5 They will not be ashamed when they speak with their enemies in the gates.
Psalm 127:1-5
I have been in a rushing season.
Ever since getting married, everywhere I looked there has been something I thought I needed to be doing. I thought, ‘I need to be praying hard, investing in my marriage, investing and saving money, looking to buy a home, taking care of the household chores, reading books, maintaining friendships, making new friendships, building my career, planning for a family, finding new ways to make money, traveling, having fun.’
It all felt completely overwhelming.
But I knew that all of these things were important. So I dove into doing (or trying to do) all of them.
I got very anxious about our spending, built a detailed budget, moved our money into a high-yield savings account, and listened to audiobooks on investing and passive income.
Then I worked to hang out with friends more often, looked into trips N and I could take, tried new recipes, bought books to read, reached out to coworkers for dinner, and tried to make myself available to anyone needing help.
I freaked out about my marriage, prayed fervently for about 24 hours before falling off the 40 day prayer commitments I made, wondered whether we were living God’s will for us and if we were wrong to delay trying for a baby till we felt more financially ready.
In addition to freaking out about my marriage, I feverishly looked for ways to start bringing in income on the side, scared that if I didn’t I wouldn’t be unable to stay home when we had a baby. I was preemptively flooded with mom guilt -how is that possible?? Scouring the internet, I searched hard for that one zero-effort, highly-profitable side hustle that I knew was just waiting for me somewhere. (I still haven’t found that one yet, but if you’ve found it- let me know. lol.)
I was worried all the time. It was exhausting.
I tried my best. I attempted so many things. And so many things just did not work out.
One day, during an episode of overwhelming anxiety about the future, wondering whether I was doing everything wrong and if God was disappointed in me, the Lord reminded me of one of my favorite Psalms.
1 Unless the LORD builds the house, they labor in vain who build it.
In that moment, it was so obvious to me that I had been laboring in vain for months. Not that all the things I was trying to do were outright wrong, but I hadn’t consulted God about hardly any of it.
Sure, I would pray on my way to do something “God, I’m doing this because …”
I tried to do what God wanted. But more than anything, I really wanted to do what I wanted to do, and I hoped God wanted it too. I did not stop and just sit in the silence, surrendering any control I thought I had. I just kept holding the reins tightly, telling God what I wanted to do and asking Him to bless it.
Once God brought me to this realization- that unless the LORD builds the house, I am laboring in vain– my entire perspective changed.
I opened my hands to God. Slowly, and one finger at a time, because I’m still a selfish person who wants to keep pretending like I have total control over my own life. But my hands fully opened eventually, and I finally said what I’d been avoiding all along,
“I will wait on You, listen to you for guidance, and build when I hear You say it’s time to build.”
The rest of this Psalm brought even more peace to me.
Unless the LORD guards the city, the watchman keeps awake in vain.
2 It is vain for you to rise up early, to retire late, to eat the bread of painful labors, for He gives to His beloved even in his sleep.
All of this striving, this worrying, this freaking out (I am so good at freaking out) was in vain. It was vanity for me to rise up early, retire late, and eat the bread of painful labors!
Maybe that sounds like a real downer to you, but really, it’s quite a relief.
One of my favorite quotes, from A.W Tozer, really sums this feeling up:
“How completely satisfying to turn from our limitations to a God who has none.”
So starting in that moment, I turned from my limitations to the God who has none. Hallelujah.
To be sure, it was not a complete 180 right then. Sanctification always takes time (but the devil really wants you to believe that if change isn’t instant then it must not be real). I had to continue to release my dreams and fears and hopes and worries into the Lord’s gentle and loving and kind hands over and over. Sometimes, I would snatch them back after handing them over to Him. Then I would remember my own limitations, and once again, relinquish all that I’d taken up. The reminder comes again and again- unless the LORD builds the house, they labor in vain who build it.
I still worry sometimes, even now that I’ve rebuilt my intimacy with the Lord.
I have my freak outs. But now I am able to turn back to Him and remember that He must build the house.
The Lord is the One who provides financially for us. He is the One who gives us friendships. He is the One who gives us the strength to bear others’ burdens. The Lord, our Rock, is the One who will hold our marriage together, through every day of sunshine or storm. He is the One who will sanctify me and make me look more like Him. My Father who loves me is the One who gives my days purpose and value. He is the One I am living for.
And you know what? God quieted even more of my fears with the last half of this Psalm.
3 Behold, children are a gift of the LORD.
The fruit of the womb is a reward.
4 Like arrows in the hands of a warrior, so are the children of one’s youth.
How blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them;
5 They will not be ashamed when they speak with their enemies in the gates.
Children are His gift. He delights in a house full of children. The man (and woman) with many children are blessed. He is the One who will give us a baby, at the exact right time.
I don’t know whether we will be able to afford me quitting my job so I can be a stay at home mom. But I do know that my God is kind and loving and He will take care of us. I do know that where I work when I become a mom doesn’t change the fact that our child will be a gift. I do know that the safest place to be in life is in the middle of His will.
I’m waiting to hear His will. He is building the house. He is guarding the city. I can do that without worry because unless the LORD builds the house, they labor in vain who build it. And- this part brings me so much delight and comfort- He gives to His beloved even in his sleep.
P.S. In case you’re wondering, these verses are in the New American Standard Bible 1995 translation. The NASB95 is the translation of the Bible I use, and I love it. I think it’s clear and understandable without losing the meaning of the original text. If you are looking for a good study Bible, here is a link to one that is similar to mine: https://amzn.to/4cqbF3B
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